The Story of a Somber Eastern Woman
The evening has fallen, and as the sun sets, the sky turns dark. Silence fills the air. From inside, the darkness devours me. My life has been filled with such darkness for a long time. It’s something I hear about all the time, but I never believe it. Could it be happiness? It’s been a long time since I met him, but I don’t know how long it’s been. There might not be any hope left now. My morale is getting low like I was never alive.
Suddenly, there was a knock on the door. As I opened the door from the living room, I saw small children playing. Sadly, my husband is only a name since he is not even in my life. My happiness went to hell.
I feel heartbroken, but my sadness will not go away. It’s like this in life; everything is going on, and I’m dying every minute. Hope and trust are nonexistent. My husband always acted the same way whenever I expressed my feelings to him. He should be ashamed of himself, but now that he has grown up, he shouldn’t spoil my mind; he should go, reduce his, and do his work. Minds belong only to them; we are tenants. This is my daily routine, and this is my life.
As of this moment, there is no desire in my heart; it is buried in the courtyard of this house. And there is only the living corpse of a woman who is serving her time. No matter what I am, I long for my son. I always raise my hands in prayer for his success. One day he will realize that hope underlies the entire universe.
There is either a dead heart or a completely empty heart in my husband. Someday I think about that. Along with having no importance and no identity, I also have the right to live my own life, which was not granted to us.
Sometimes, when the sun rises with a new dawn and a shining light, everyone will return, but they will not find me.
My husband has asked me to invite some of his family relatives over, but I am tired and cannot arrange a big dinner for them. My husband treats me more like a servant than his wife. Don’t I deserve self-respect and basic human respect? Sometimes, I feel like I am nothing more than a statue to him. He just gives me orders and expects me to obey him without any regard for my feelings. This behavior has been happening from the beginning and unfortunately, his family treats me the same way. I feel like I am just a machine to generate kids for him.
I also want to be happy, experience joy and feel loved. I want to travel and see the mountains, beaches, and all kinds of weather. But it seems like nobody cares about my desires and dreams. I feel like I am just a dead body in this world. I want romance, love, and emotional connection, but instead, I am treated like a bondservant. In my loneliness, I hear voices whispering in my head. Sometimes, I just want to die or even kill someone because of how alone and disrespected I feel.
to be continue…